didordied


Gordon Biersch – Hard to Find – Harder to Stay by vinceklortho

 

Last Saturday I hit Gordon Biersch in Pasadena to catch the NBA Playoffs.  Gordon Biersch was hard to find as it is buried down an alley.  But it is easier to find than the Barney’s Beanery in Pasadena, which I had intended on going to but could not locate after taking a wrong turn.

Once you do locate the alley, you walk down into a really nice outside seating area.  Only problem . . . the place was empty.  Dead.  No matter.  We were headed for the bar to watch the game anyway.  Only problem . . . this bar is where husbands go to die.  Seated at the bar were a bunch of men, by themselves, with shopping bags from women’s stores hidden at their feet.  This is where husbands came to escape the further torture of seeing yet another fucking paper mache rooster at the Pottery Barn that would go just great in the French country home their wives were slowly erecting to serve as their dungeons.  These men were so defeated that when we got there, they were watching Access HollywoodWe quickly changed that.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let me tell you what else blows about this bar.  Besides the immasculated men, the place was full of super-masculine women.  My friend thought there were some burly lesbos hanging out in front of us.  I just thought they were large and unattractive women.  Tomato.  Toe-mah-toe. 

Gordon Biersch does have pretty much anything you could want to drink.  They even brew their own beers.  I tried the special, which was quite refreshing even to me . . . and I am not a beer drinker.

The food, however, sucked.  I tried the simple approach figuring who could screw up a burger and fries.  Oooh!  Oooh!  I know!  I know!  Gordon Biersch can.  The burger had no flavor and was really greasy.  The tomato on it was overripe.  The fries were the worst part.  They were coated in garlic.  In fact, there was so much damn garlic on the fries that I had to order dessert to get the disgusting flavor out of my mouth.  Notice that you can infer from this statement that although the fries sucked, I ate them. 

For dessert I had some sort of peanut butter, chocolate, Oreo, concoction.  It was enough to almost redeem the place.  Almost.  But it just couldn’t salvage all of the above plus the extremely unattractive waitresses.  Although the 22-year-old hostess with the . . . how shall I say . . . spring-loaded body made up for that.  And the service was pretty impressive.  Our waitress was very attentive and had a fun personality. 

One more weird note . . . the place was a haven for MILFs. 

You’ll find tons of parking in the various parking structures around Colorado Blvd.  But if I were you, I’d try some other restaurant or bar on the street.

Gordon Biersch . . . I’d rather die than do this again. 

 

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2 Comments so far
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I rather enjoy garlic potatoes. They are yummy. I eat them while tapping the rhythm of Saliva Dione’s “My heart will fuck a whale”, from that movie Titanic pile of scrotum sucking shit. Its a bizarre pornographic autobiography of a Canadian slut who goes out and fucks entire battle ships. They call her the general, and they tattoo her ass on their arms. Did i lose my train of thought…..

Comment by moopiechops

I was going to rent that, but I picked up Entourage instead

Comment by vinceklortho




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